DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the following Lord of the Rings characters used; and I do not own the Herbal Essence brand either!

(Bang)

JUDGE ARAGORN: ORDER!

(Silence)

LOYER FRODO: May I speak, your honour?

ARAGORN: (exasperated) Please, please

(Frodo gets up and stands before the court.)

FRODO: Well, before I start, Id like to say-

(He stops dead and looks over at Defendant.)

FRODO: Is- is that Herbal Essence Rinse and Shine? (Walks slowly towards defendant.)

DEFENDANT SAMWISE: Well, erm, I dont like to brag...

(Frodo goes over, and snatches the bottle. There is a sensation in the courtroom.)

FRODO: Oh... OH... OH! (caresses bottle.)

(Herbal essence music begins in the background.)

ARAGORN: (Bored) Here we go again...

SAM: Mr.- Mr. Frodo?

(Frodo turns around sharply and bites the lid off with his teeth. He has a seductive glint in his eyes.)

COURTROOM: ?

(He holds the lid in his teeth and squirts the WHOLE bottle of Herbal Essence Rinse and Spray over his hair.)

SAM: Mr. Frodo!

FRODO: (Suddenly throws his head backs and sings *or shrieks*) Ive got the... URGE!

(Courtroom gasps. Merry, Legolas and Boromir storm in armed with bottle of Herbal Essence Rinse and Shine. All are dressed in black. Merry has a tea cosy on his head.)

L, M, B: He's got the urge... (Push Frodo onto a chair and all start shampooing his hair violently)

FRODO: (Sitting smiling to himself while and whispering like hes delirious) Ive got the urge...

L, M, B: ...to Herbal!

FRODO: Mmmmm...

L, M, B: (Dance around him waving their arms madly while he shampoos his own hair again.) It goes and puts him in the SHOW-ER!

(Frodo suddenly strikes pose.)

L, M, B: For another half an HOUR!

(Everyone in the court, who were all previously gasping amongst themselves, suddenly look up and clap once.)

COURT: (CLAP!)

L, M, B: He's GOT the URGE!

(Frodo falls off the chair and Legolas, Merry and Boromir start shampooing his feet for some reason.)

FRODO: (In background) Yes... yes... YES!

(The JURY all look up sharply.)

JURY: Natural botanicals...

L, M, B: He's got the URGE... to HERBAL!

EVERYONE: Mmmmm!

(Sudden bang.)

ARAGORN: ORDER!

(Everyone is stunned into silence.)

ARAGORN: Um... (flicks his hair back) get me a bottle of that!

(Bottles of Herbal Essences, with little Frodo figures on them, appear before a white background.)

FRODO (VOICE): NEW Herbal Essence Shampoo, Conditioner and Volume spray! Now comes in three different essences- Camomile, Strawberry and Refreshing Passion Fruit!

(SCREEN GOES BLACK.)